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you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time. [userpic]
round six: winners!
by you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time. (bluesunsets)
at August 10th, 2008 (09:41 am)
embarrassed

current mood: embarrassed
current song: what ever happened? - the strokes.

WINNERS: ROUND SIX.


There really is no excuse for the absence, so I sincerely apologise and hope that you all are still eager for pretty_stickers. Here are the long awaited winners. Congratulations to every participant! Without you, pretty_stickers would've sunk. ;)

If you see any problems, please report them. (Winners from this round.) Challenge ideas are most certainly welcome. ;)


Best Overall.
why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.

Best Author.
why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.

Best Crossover.
N/A.

Fluffiest.
Five Reasons John Casey Might Be In Love - toestastegood.

Angstiest.
1. why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.
2. if your heart is nowhere in it - perfumedgraces.

Best Use of Prompt.
1. why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.
2. Five Times Claire Bennett Doesn’t Want to Live Forever - cold_campbells.

Best Canon.
Five Conversations Michael Bluth Has Never Had With His Family - aragons.

Best Characterisation.
1. Five Conversations Michael Bluth Has Never Had With His Family - aragons.
2. why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.

Most Original.
1. Five Times Claire Bennett Doesn’t Want to Live Forever - cold_campbells.
2. Five Reasons John Casey Might Be In Love - toestastegood.


feedback.


Five Reasons John Casey Might Be In Love - toestastegood.

+ The title alone does a great deal to explain the awesome fluffiness of this fic. First, it includes John Casey, of all people, being cuddly and making breakfast and doing other such romantical things in a way that somehow manages to be believable. Quiet a feat, considering the character.

+ This is not something I would have ever thought to do in response to this prompt. I would have been skeptical about anyone's ability to pull of this unique relationship in a still romantic, but all not smutty way. She did a great job, starting with Casey's annoyance with the situation, all the way to his acceptance and the final line Instead? He's looking forward to the future, and there's one hell of a smug smile on his face. This fic could have easily, and believably, been one giant angst fest, but the author's decision to do otherwise was an original, and interesting take on this trio.

+ It was a sweet fic without being saccharine. It really fit the characters, or at least what I've seen of them. It's funny and it's sweet, the relationship isn't perfect but it fits and this line: As long as they're happy, he will be too. Love's like that.
worked in the prompt so seamlessly.

+ This is so adorable. I love these guys, and I've only seen like, 1.4 of an episode. I feel like each little segment fit perfectly with the prompt as well as each of the five reasons. In the first part, it's really sort of sweet in a way that he realises that Chuck has captured his interest/love just by being himself, geeky and witty. This line really makes me smile, because its one of those realizations you have when you figure out you're in love: His fingers stroke back and forth over Chuck's bicep; he's certain that he should be irritated by the constant dribble of speech, but he finds himself smiling instead. It's like they're all drawn together because of Chuck, which they are, but drawn together in an emotional way as well. It's light in a really romantic way, which makes me scream "fluffy!" on the inside :). It fits the prompt so well because I feel like Casey finds himself changing in the small way, like the way he reacts, and it's because of love and that wanting other people's happiness makes you happy. This is so incredibly well-written! I also love how he shows that he's also changed by Sarah, like here: As Casey's eyes linger upon her, it strikes him that their situation is alarmingly domestic: he should be out shooting guns right now and stopping the 'bad guys' – but he wouldn't miss this morning for the world.. He's transformed by love for them :). Loved it ;)

+ I haven't seen Chuck, but I felt as though this was one of the most original pieces because of how the threesome was handled. It was so amazingly crafted, and instead of following the usual path to smut! smut! smut!, toestastegood handled it so flawlessly. It's the most original to me because of how the threesome was threaded into the plot, how it made the plot, and how well every character worked together.

if your heart is nowhere in it - perfumedgraces.

+ Um, from what I watched of SG-1 the emotions in this piece are very canonical, they completely follow the way the characters are written on the show. Sam and Jack have always had a thing for each other and they skirt around the fact because they aren't sure. Pete came along and made Sam feel safe and with him she had what she thought she'd never have with Jack. But of course, he never made her truly happy. This fic encapsulates all of that so perfectly within these well written snippets of their thoughts.

+ This entire fic was completely heart-breaking. I don't know the characters at all, but especially the opening section with Pete left me wanting to grab him and hold him close. Putting that section at the beginning really left me on Pete's side completely, which was a good choice for how to position the sections: it left the ending even more painful when Sam left him like that.

+ I don't understand this show, but this fic was such a joy to read. Each vignette held a special sort of theme; Pete's was loss, Jack's was almost arrogance, and Sam's was regret. The way in which this flowed together was flawless; it didn't feel snippety, and therefore it kept the feel of the fic so fluid. This is angst, to me, because of how each person still longs for someone; there's a part of them who long for Sam (particularly the boys) and how Sam longs for a happy ending. perfumedgraces crafted an enjoyable, angsty piece which will need anyone who reads it to wear a couple of bandaids over the ouches they'll receive.

Five Conversations Michael Bluth Has Never Had With His Family - aragons.

+ This felt very much like an episode of Arrested Development from the spot on narration to the excellent characterizations of these psycho characters. Especially loved the line No, I think I’ve been propositioned enough Gob which is almost painfully Micheal.

+ For lines such as I've made a huge mistake because I can with no difficulty at all, picture that situation and Will's deliver of that frequently used line. Also perfectly in character, is the last section with Lucille, which demonstrated her typical apathy towards consequences excellently. Micheal's line No, I think I’ve been propositioned enough Gob is also brilliantly done.

+ I find that aragons's way of telling her story/fic is what makes it the most original. she has a narrator style voice that's witty and refreshing. also, the wording is really witty and smart, and it's something new i haven't seen before. for example, in this line, her choice of wording is sharp and witty, which seems to be a word I can't stop using to describe this fic (In just the first three hours Michael had suffered severe trauma as a result of Tobias’ regained sense of freedom due to his abandonment of never-nude policies ...). i find the narrator-style inserpts and moving back and forth through time, like here ((cut to earlier this morning: Lindsay letting her robe fall open at the breakfast table as she sits down opposite Michael. Eyebrows raise and teeth grit.)) original and unique from the usual sequence of events in a straight line storytelling. each segment is seperate and individual yet they all tie into the overall feeling that nothing is normal in the Bluth family household. the prompts are used well here because each fits perfectly and speak to the overall impression/theme/etc of each of the conversations. the whole fic being peppered with funny/witty narrator segments makes it different from the way some fics are told from the point of view of the characters, as evidenced here: (Stop me if this scene is becoming a little familiar (this happens a lot, but as the FCC will have you know we just can’t show most of it).). overall, the tone of the fic, the manner it was told and the narrator style and unique approach to telling the story made it unique and original in my mind.

+ I've never watched a single episode of Arrested Development in my life; I haven't got a clue who any of the characters are; I've honestly barely even heard of the show. However I think that made it really interesting for me to approach this entry, as it allowed me to focus more on the writing and the characters than on any preconceived ideas I'd already had of it. It was really quirky and a lot of fun to read.

+ I'm not sure if 'fluffiest' is really the right term for this, because it had little pockets of hidden angst all over the place as well, but there was a lightness to the dialogue and the overall tone. An opening line like It was an awkward morning in the Bluth household. Correction: it was a normal morning in the Bluth household. for example really made the narrative voice feel a lot more light-hearted than the other entries.

+ aragons should be seen as a joy to this fandom. She has captured the canon of the show so perfectly that I envy her and hope that she'll continue writing the Bluths as the show deserves more love, adoration, and this oustanding type of writing. This was such a joy to read because of how everything felt so in character. The characters, the concepts, the style in which it was written. aragons has produced a fantastic piece. I felt like I was watching an episode, reading a script, and if that isn't amazingly in canon, I don't know what is. I truly hope to see more Arrested Development from her, because she's truly got the knack and it's such a pleasure to read something so in canon for a television show which doesn't have the most basic structure to follow.

+ The characters. I can not say much about this because I am still blown away by how realistic it felt. Everything was incredibly well-written; I adored the narrator's voice, especially, because without it, it wouldn't have felt very Arrested Development. aragons has captured the essence of the characters, of the show, and has written a marvellous piece of fiction about it. The canon drops of Michael/Lindsay particularly made me quite pleased. She stuck to the roots of the show, kept the characters real, and the piece of fiction held a fantastic slice of the characters. Not one character felt out of character.

why can’t we just fall in the sea? - bluesunsets.

+ First of all, it caused me to want to ship a ship for a show that I've never really watched and honestly have little desire too. So many of the lines and images were exceptionally poetic. I especially loved the metaphors used throughout the story like the one about the waves and the sand, as I mentioned in my feedback.

+ This fic does a really nice job of portraying the angst of lost love, and the things somebody attempts to get it back. The fics true source of angsty awesome comes from how compellingly the story reads. This compelling nature is due to the stories excellent use of imagery and rich tone which are seen in the metaphors referencing the waves, sand, and Pinnocio .

+ This is the fic that, too me, used the quotes in a way that felt the most organic. In addition to the fact that quotes from the prompt did not seem jarring or out of place, the FiveThings!Title and music also added nicely to the fic.

+ I absolutely adored this fic, everything about it was perfect; from her sentence structure to her characterisation to the plot and pacing itself. Everything flowed from one to the next without feeling forced. Her language was absolutely stunning, images and metaphors were a twist on the norm, familiar but skewed and very, very vivid. The prompts were worked in wonderfully as well.

+ The way the story was crafted was excellent. Every section could stand alone but really flowed beautifully from one to the next. Her use of language is quite thought-provoking, not in a philosophical way but, oh-I-would-never-have-thought-of-that-and-it-works-so-well! kind of way. E.G: There’s always been an hourglass clocking their time together, the sand threatening to run out if he didn’t constantly keep twirling the antique on its head and starting the time again.

+ This is angsty, incredibly so. But in a way it's not because there is this sense of acceptance and moving forward at the end. Still, the angst. The fact that Ryan's falling for his best friend's girlfriend, the girl he wants to marry. That she feels something for him too, but that she also loves Seth and they both know it. That they held on briefly to what they could've been but she's practical and she waited and they never got their timing right. A relationship of almosts is always bound to break my heart.

+ The way the prompts were integrated so seamlessly into the dialogue, that the characters each line was chosen for was absolutely perfect mean this could really be the only one for this category. I particularly loved the third section because the prompt is something I could, literally, hear Sandy say. And the four section broke me because I could hear Summer all quiet and resigned.

+ The reason I've chosen this fic is because the plot is removed from the obvious canon of the show. What makes the characterisation so great is that everything, the words and gestures to the idea that Ryan might like Summer, fit. It doesn't feel like it isn't canon. It feels right with what we know of the characters, it fits their mannerisms, vocal inflections, their personality quirks. I feel that Ryan is kind of a hard character to write and so for her to have pulled it off so beautifully deserves recognition.

+ this is incredibly well written. the imagery is sharp and the action is easy to visualize because of the descriptive language, such as here: (Summer looks back at him, she’s squinting like him. The ring glares at him as she pushes her hair out of her face, the wind has turned violent and it’s hard to hear, almost hard to stand, “Love makes time pass, Ryan,” and there’s another ugly crash of water, “time makes love pass.”). i could see everything that was happening, like it was an episode on tv. there are parts that are beautiful and adorable, like here (A faint grin hits his lips, “Kind of didn’t know if you had one,” he hits back, and she smiles, smacks his shoulder. ), while there's a deep sense that things have changed since he left and he can't make them go back. that kind of helplessness, like here: (He doesn’t really get it — doesn’t understand why his timing is always wrong and out of focus, and he’s always losing. She’s falling out of his grasp like sand sliding through the gaps of his fingers and he’s trying so desperately to control it.) makes him seem so real and alive, and human, which is what i feel is real angst. his feelings seem almost raw and out in the open to the reader, and i really liked how you had him realize that time is running out and he can't have summer anymore because things have changed since he left, and grown almost awkward. the end is such a beautiful resignation and the prompt fits perfectly, that even if he isn't happy without her, he needs to know that she is happy. the metaphors (he wants to tell himself that she’s trying to convince herself, but he feels his nose growing a little too long and his arms and legs feel a little wooden and the imagery is so heartbreakingly beautiful. this is great because it's well written, descriptive, angsty, a little bit fluffy, raw and real, and the prompts fit wonderfully with each section. :)

+ Like a good writer, bluesunsets caught my attention for this fic with the very first line (He kind of comes back for her). The development of the interaction and history between Ryan and Summer is clear and her use of language is so eloquent that the story is almost played out visually in front of the reader. Descriptive language only adds to the elegance of the fic and it gives a feeling of realism and like it's happening right in front of you, like here (looks at the waves, the moon’s highlighting the calm ripple effects and there’s a small breeze that almost unsettles the slow waves as it rests on the sand.). also, she doens't just throw plot points randomly, they're let in gradually as opposed to a severe POP! of "here's a plot point!". An example would be when Ryan notices Summer's ring. (He doesn’t question her, doesn’t really give himself the chance because the answer is sort of sparkling right in front of him as her hand leaves her lap and there’s something silver and round glinting off one of her fingers as she reaches for a fry.). The part about Kristen and Sandy not even having the french fry plan really work out perfectly was heartbreaking and beautiful, because not even what seems like the most perfect marriages were meant to be and they start the same way some relationships (like the ryan/summer one) try to fix themselves. bluesunsets does a wonderful job for eloquence, elegance, descriptive language, good writing skills, and a variety of feelings and emotions displayed between the characters.

+ there's a lot of scenery described in each scene that would be perfect in an episode of The O.C and would play out perfectly if they were acted out. The way Summer was talking to Ryan on the beach was perfect (Summer looks back at him, she’s squinting like him. The ring glares at him as she pushes her hair out of her face, the wind has turned violent and it’s hard to hear, almost hard to stand, “Love makes time pass, Ryan,” and there’s another ugly crash of water, “time makes love pass.”) and it's so realistic and believable. the things that they say are believable coming out of their mouths, like dialogue from a script. Also, the plot and movement of the story is believable and real, again like it would come from a script. Sandy's reference to the prompt (“Let me tell you something,” Sandy rests against the counter beside him, “love is as much of an object as an obsession. Everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it. Those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never,” he pauses, “never forget it.”) gives me the feel of the moral of the story almost and seems to represent a change in Ryan that inspires him to see if she's happy, to cherish perhaps what they had, and something that would be a form of development in a script. this was amazingly awesome, believable and just plain perfect. ♥

+ The writing in this entry really seemed to flow elegantly, making it incredibly easy to read. Some of the prose was almost poetic - I love the elongation of the sentence in So he finds a place that’s almost like a second pool house to him with a shadow of a ghost that used to claim it as ‘her space’ and he sits there, in front of the lifeguard door that isn’t locked and the beach is deserted for example, as it really shows how distanced Ryan feels - and it made me believe in a pairing that I otherwise definitely wouldn't have. Some of the punctuation with the dialogue was a little bit off - She blinks, “What?” for example shouldn't have had the comma there as 'she blinks' isn't a dialogue tag like 'she says' - but other than some errors like that it read really smoothly.

+ I've only seen S1 of the OC, but from what I've seen Summer especially in this fic seemed spot-on. Considering what an unconventional pairing this was that's really an achievement, but it's the dialogue especially that sticks out for me. Atwood, did you forget you had a phone? sounds so perfectly like Summer's voice, and the sections with Sandy in them sounded just right in my mind as well.


Five Times Claire Bennett Doesn’t Want to Live Forever - cold_campbells.

+ Most original because the pairings she's chosen have no real canonical basis but she makes it work. Somehow the relationships between Claire, Hiro and Adam all work really well. The entire premise is really interesting, definitely not the direction I would ever have gone in.

+ This is a wonderful story, embued with so much feeling and depth. it's incredibly angsty because there is so much feeling and tension between the characters that isn't verbally spoken but felt. there's a sense of emotional vulnerability to claire that is perfect for her because she's physically invulnerable. i felt a sense that claire is trying to grasp on to the idea of time and love's place in time. this line (She feels the memory of Hiro's voice fade, or maybe blend into Adam's. The reasons she fell for Hiro become nearly as hazy as the jumbled, faded memories of each voice of conviction that every male she ever loved has had.) reflects the prompt "love makes time pass, time makes love pass" perfectly because the men she's loved were so full of conviction at the time, and with time their differences have melted together. this line (Love's bound to change when you've got forever to let it do so. It's the one thing Claire's certain of; the one thing years of experience have taught her. It doesn't matter if you love someone who can disappear in one time and appear in another or if you love someone who will never disappear. The principal remains. ) gives me the feeling that she understands that things are going to be hard with the men she loves because she's going to be around so long, and she doesn't have only one lifetime like everyone else, to love and die in peace. its heartbreaking to me when hiro goes to see her in the future and sees that her love has changed, and back in the present (not 75 years ahead) she knows its inevitable that things will change but she's almost hanging on like she wants things to stay. that inevitablity and circling sense of love in the unchanging face of time is what make it the most angsty.

+ the whole theme of the story that i got after reading it was that love changes after a time and that is made even harder when you have forever to deal with. "love makes time pass, time makes love pass" is exactly what that is, boiled down to a few words. This line (Love's bound to change when you've got forever to let it do so. It's the one thing Claire's certain of; the one thing years of experience have taught her. It doesn't matter if you love someone who can disappear in one time and appear in another or if you love someone who will never disappear. The principal remains. ) makes it even more evident that love can die out and change from one person to another in a space of time and living forever means there's bound to be lots of change because of the people you love who die and those who don't. also, hiro's proclamation about "don't say you love somebody and then change your mind ..." fits perfectly with the first prompt because time had made her love change, and the fact that she can live forever really makes falling in love hard to do. i really liked how heartbreaking it was to see hiro travel to the future, see her with adam and then go back and be upset that she will end up with adam even though now she's with him. This line (She thinks it isn't fair that she should be held responsible for choices she hasn't even made yet (but she also sort of understands it, and him). ) really embodies the whole idea that she's resigned to the fact that she can live forever and that she knows things between them will change, and it stresses that idea of a circle, where everything in life and love doesn't really go in a straight line, but a roundabout manner. basically the two prompts tied together really well and better than i expected they would, and tied into the theme of the story.

+ this is amazingly believable for me, and even I haven't seen 'heroes' in too long, but people like claire and hiro are hard to forget ;]. Hiro's actions and the way he is (He would duck his head and shuffle his feet and she would smile back at him. But he talked about honor and justice and his nervousness disappeared, replaced by a sureness that struck something deeper in Claire, reminding her of past impulses to actually do something rather than let everything happen to her all the time. ) are believable, because of how spot on it is; Hiro can be a bit shy-acting-ish and adorable, but he has this amazing sense of honor and to passion to do what's right when it's right, and to not let bad things happen, and justice. claire seems to me to be kind of caught up in the whole having-powers scenario, and this (But he talked about honor and justice and his nervousness disappeared, replaced by a sureness that struck something deeper in Claire, reminding her of past impulses to actually do something rather than let everything happen to her all the time. ) made sense, because she seems like the kind of person that gets swept along with the tide at first, but will do something when it is inspired in her. Her sad understanding about what living forever means and the sad inevitability are played out so perfectly in her, because she's not the kind to seek or find pity for herself, but she understands and accepts what problems living forever and love mean.

+ I think this one made a really good use of the 'threesome' and 'five things' part of the prompt. Hiro/Claire and Claire/Adam aren't 'ships that I'd ever really considered in great length before, but cold_campbells really managed to make them both believable. The circular narrative and using each of the sections to indicate the movement of time was a good way of using the 'five things' prompt.

+ I think that this one really stood out in terms of its concept: it took on two unconventional pairings, included time-travel and time loops, and managed to come out seeming really believable. I loved the parallels that rachel_lupin chose to draw between Hiro and Adam and the way that she presented Claire seemed accurate despite the leap that it would take to get from canon in the show as it is now to how it's shown at the beginning of the fic.

Comments

Posted by: Shona (toestastegood)
Posted at: August 16th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)

I just saw this now as I've been on holiday - but this was such a lovely thing to come back to! :D

Posted by: perfumed x graces (perfumedgraces)
Posted at: August 26th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
lisa edelstein

Awww, thank you to everyone! And congrats to all the winners :)

I really enjoyed writing that last piece based on the quotes. Perhaps based on concepts? Like, having something to do with the concept of honor, or justice. :/ I'm not very helpful or creative :[

but still, thank you everyone!

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