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R - So Small
by evelyn (spiltcoffeee)
at October 2nd, 2007 (12:19 am)

Title: So Small
Author: spiltcoffeee
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy, Dark Angel, Supernatural, and House M.D.
Pairing: Izzie/George, Alex/Ava, Izzie/Alex (Grey’s), Max/Alec (DA), and Chase/Cameron (House)
Rating: PG (for mild language in a few of the stories)
Spoilers: Grey’s Season 3, DA Series finale, SPN Season 2, House Season 3
Word Count: ~2600
Prompt: “So Small” by Carrie Underwood, written for pretty_stickers Round 5
Author’s Note: Finally, I know. This has taken quite a while to spit out and I'm very proud of it. This is not a crossover fic, just a series of stories in different fandoms inspired by the song. Download it if you like. ☺ Also, the House M.D. story is a bit AU (alternate universe), but still spoilery.
Summary: When you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else seem so small.


Izzie and Alex are waiting in the on-call room, lying in the bunks opposite each other. Alex and Izzie are upset. Izzie and Alex are frustrated. Alex and Izzie have fallen in love with someone they can’t have.

Alex loves Ava, even though she no longer exists. Her name is Rebecca Pope now, he knows, but she will always be Ava to him. He’s mentally punching himself in the gut, wondering why he didn’t convince her to stay. He wanted to do the right thing for her, to let her go back to her husband and let her have a family, because with him, it would inevitably end, no matter how much he loved her.

Izzie loves George, even though he is married. She of course she still loves Denny, and there will always be a part of her that is his fiancé, but she can’t help but realize that she loves George too. When she heard that he and Callie got married, she was still too devastated from losing Denny to realize what her feelings really meant. Now that she knows, it’s too late, and she knows it.

“Why does everything get blown out of proportion? Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life?” Izzie wonders aloud.

“Don’t ask me. I’m a perennial screw-up.” Alex looks at her for a moment, and adds, seriously, “I’ve messed up every good relationship I’ve ever had.”

She looks back at him and they lock eyes—for a moment they can’t look away. She knows he’s apologizing, and she forgives him; he knows she’s almost wishing to fall back in love with him, just so they won’t have to be alone. They both wonder if they had just worked a little harder, if things between them would have turned out all right. The truth is, they would have been perfect, and they both know it.

Alex looks away first; he goes back to staring at the ceiling, and Izzie goes back to playing with her hair.

She muses on the difference between Alex and George. Everything always comes back to George. She can’t help it—he’s her best friend. She needs his opinion on everything, from the color of her new dress to the taste of her latest recipe. Not because she is in love with him, but because she trusts him. He knows more about her than almost anyone else, and Izzie wonders why she can’t open up more to her other friends. Especially since Callie doesn’t want to have her around, and George is so moral he won’t want to jeopardize his marriage for friendship. She feels like she’s going to drown in this sea of unrequited love because she can’t tread water.

While Izzie wonders about Alex and George, Alex thinks about everything he knows about Ava (which is relatively little), compared to everything he knows about Izzie (which is a lot). Granted, he’s known Izzie for close to a year, and he met Ava only a few months ago. He doesn’t care. The only thing he can think about is how he just wanted to be honest with a woman, with Ava, for the first time, and he messed it up. She would have given up her family for him, and he’s not sure he wanted her to. Especially since he knows what it’s like to have a broken family, and he doesn’t want to be “that guy”. He feels like he’s going to lose himself in this place; it’s like a maze and none of the exits lead to happiness.

Alex and Izzie are alone in the on-call room, waiting for someone to love them. Izzie and Alex think they’re going to be waiting for a long time. If only they would look across the room.


“Sam, there’s nothing I can do!” Dean yelled, and he hated it. 9 months left to live just isn’t enough time. He let out a deep breath and tried to calmly continue. “If I try to get out of this, you die.” He had deliberately put off telling Sam; if he said it out loud, there was no going back.

This was six days ago—and so far Sam hadn’t slept or showered or spoken (except the occasional shushing and swatting when Dean tried to see what was so time consuming) and Dean was starting to snap. How were they supposed to kill demons when Sam was researching all day? How were they going to save people’s lives if Sam didn’t do anything but type on the computer? Granted, Sam did pause to shove food in his mouth three times a day (sometimes four), and he did occasionally pick up a book, but how was Dean supposed to make his mark on the world before he died if they never left their room? He had to make these last months count, and not being able to fight this demonic war they’d been put in the middle of was getting to him.

“Dean, I have a surprise for you.”

“About time, goddammit.” Dean swung his legs off the bed and walked over to Sam. “What the hell was taking you so lo—“

Dean isn’t surprised very often; in his line of work you have to always be prepared (like Boy Scouts, but with guns and rock salt). But when Sam showed him a nine-month calendar full to the brim of things that Dean had always said he wanted to do (and a couple of things he didn’t), Dean was unprepared. Sam jumped out of his chair to let Dean sit down and marvel at all of his plans: A cruise to the Bahamas, a trip to the Great Wall of China, pubs in England and Ireland, Broadway shows in New York, an African Safari, and … a drive through the Grand Canyon.

At first, Dean was upset; Sam had just assumed that he wanted to do all of this, and forget about hunting, and Dean doesn’t think he’s ready to do that. Maybe a few months ago, he was, but now … he isn’t sure. So he sat in silence for a bit, looking at all the plans Sammy had made to make his last months worthwhile.

“This is what you’ve been working on?”

“Yes.” Dean was quiet for a long time.

“I don’t know what to say, Sam.” His voice was cracked, like he was holding back a lump in his throat. “Hunting … it’s been my life. I can’t just put it down, pack all the stuff away, and forget it, can I? I can’t put it all down, and forget it, I … What legacy can I leave if we’re frolicking around the country on a road trip?”

“Dean, what do you think we do for a living if we’re not on an extended road trip? A couple of months ago you were ready to put everything aside, and give up hunting to have a little fun! Don’t you think that family is more important than what we do? It’s the reason we do what we do, Dean, and isn’t having some good times with your little brother before you die more important than having the world remember your name?”

Dean cries about as often as he gets surprised, which isn’t very often. He knows what Sam says is true, and if there were ever any doubts in his mind that what was brought back by the Crossroads Demon wasn’t 100 percent Sam, there aren’t anymore. He wipes his face with the back of his hand and nods at Sam.

Sam smiles. “We should get some provisions then, yeah?”

“I’ll pick up some peanut M&M’s and Fritos at the gas station on the way out of town.” Because Dean knows that what is important is to decide what to do with the time that was given to him, instead of worrying about things he can’t do anything about. What would he do without Sam?

“Dean, seriously? I’m surprised you don’t fall over and die because of lack of nutrients or something!”

“Sammy, Sammy. Peanuts have protein, don’t worry.”


“Alec, what the hell are we gonna do about this?” Max was pacing back and forth, up and down, from side to side of her tiny apartment in the heart of Terminal City. “What kind of example are we going to lead for these transgenics if we can’t even take care of our own lives? Why the hell did you do this to me?”

“Oh, do not even start that with me Max, I am not going to be your scapegoat this time, we both know this was the both of us! I’ve told you 100 times that males can’t help how they react to a female in heat and you still blame me! It’s not my fault, and you should be grateful that it was someone you know and trust rather than some creep like Bruno!”

“Yeah, well, at least Bruno or Blaze or even Petey would have done the right thing and forget all about this baby once he found out I was pregnant! Gem’s doing it alone and so can I! You don’t have to give up your glorious sex-life to spend time with me and a kid you don’t want!”

“Max, I’m not going to let you put words into my mouth! This isn’t some mountain you can just climb over and that’s the end of it, it’s a big deal and I won’t let you make me feel guilty about wanting you to have my child! Our child!”

It was the first time Alec had acknowledged the fact that Max was going to have his kid, their kid, and it did not calm Max down as much as she thought it would.

“Oh, so you’re going to take responsibility now for this, huh? Well, fine. That’s great. Us girls will be thrilled to have you stop by and screw our lives up every once in a while.” Once they had realized what she said, Max stopped abruptly pacing and Alec removed his hands from his face immediately. It was the first time they had had a peaceful quiet surround them since Max found out she was pregnant.


“Yeah.” They stood silent for another moment, as Max watched Alec’s reaction and Alec reveled in the fact that he’s going to be the father of a little girl. The father of Max’s little girl.

“We’re having a girl? When did you find out? Did you talk to Gem? How did you know? When did you--?”

“I just know. I can feel her.”

“Max, it’s only been 10 weeks, how can you?”

“I can just tell, okay? She’s got your kick already, I’ll tell you that, too.”

“Hah, no, that’s all you, babe. I ain’t got nothin’ on your kick, Maxie.”

“Don’t call me that.” She starts to walk towards the fridge to get some ketchup and sardines when Alec calls after her.

“You prefer Mommy?”

She wheeled around on him and he was grinning. Grinning like a fool who is about the have a little girl running around his house very soon.

“Actually, Maxie is fine. For now.” She smiled coyly at him, and for the first time in 10 weeks she was actually excited and happy that she was having this baby with Alec, and not Logan. The fact that they didn’t really love each other (not yet, anyway) and the fact that they had no money, or a crib, or baby food, or a safe environment for their baby girl to grow up in didn’t bother them in the slightest. In that moment, with Alec’s hand on her stomach and a smile on her face, Max wasn’t the least bit worried about any of that--and to think that just a little over an hour before she was ranting and raving to Cindy about how she was never going to get Alec to be this baby girl’s father.


“It’s Tuesday, I love you.”
“It’s Tuesday, I love you.”
“It’s Tuesday, I love you.”

For months and months the only words he said to her were the ones she always wanted to hear, just not from him. It’s not that she was still pining away over House, or still mourning for her dead husband, but she never felt that she loved Chase the way she thought she was supposed to, the way he loved her.

“It’s Tuesday, I love you.”

“Chase, please. This is getting ridiculous.”

“That’s what you said last week. It doesn’t matter, it’s still true.”

“Whatever, just stop.”

“When are you going to realize that this is the most important thing to ever happen to you, Allison?”

He never called her Allison, except when they were having sex. She didn’t say anything, just kept working on her resume. She was trying to get out of Princeton-Plainsboro and she needed some more schooling before she could get her teaching degree.

“House is going to fire me soon, you know. One of these days he’s just gonna snap, and I’ll be out of your life forever. But then, isn’t that what you want?”

“I have some calls to make.” She grabbed her folders and practically sprinted out the door; Chase was sure she would have won a medal at the Olympics for that sprint.

Later, Cameron was looking at her case files when she muttered to herself, “No, that wasn’t last week, it must have been the Tuesday before, so it must have been…”

“So now your long term memory revolves around Tuesdays, Cameron?” Foreman had just walked into the room after his lunch break, and Cameron’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice.

“Oh, no, I was just remembering, that’s all.”

“Sounds like Tuesdays are a pretty big thing for you, hm?”

“I have dinner at my Aunt Mary’s on Tuesdays, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay. I thought it was something else you were remembering about Tuesdays.”

“Foreman, not you too! I’m trying to tell him--“

“Look, Cameron. We’re friends now, right? And I have got to tell you, you are not acting like someone who is not in love.”

Cameron rolled her eyes and Foreman continued. “No, Cameron, look. You either love him, or you don’t, but either way, House just fired him a couple of hours ago.”

“What does that have to do with me loving him or not?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Chase has a job waiting for him in Australia when he’s done here. He’s had it set up for months now, since House started getting on his case all the time. You didn’t know?”

“So what does that have to do with me?”

“If you love him, you aren’t going to get another chance to tell him, he’ll be gone.”

Cameron considered this, and shrugged. “I’m trying to leave too, I can’t blame him.” She gathered up her resume papers and her computer for what seemed to be the thirtieth time that day. “I’m going home, page me if you need me.” Foreman nodded and watched her leave; he was sure she would have won an Oscar for that exit.

On her way home, Cameron started thinking about her desire to become a professor, and how the better hours would let her start a family the way she always wanted to. She started daydreaming about her family, and before she knew it, she was parked in front of her apartment complex. She pulled out her keys but they weren’t fitting in the door, and suddenly the door opened from the inside, and there was Chase.

“What are you doing, Cameron? You don’t have to break in, you could have just called.”

“I … “ She wasn’t sure how she’d gotten to Chase’s apartment; it was on the other side of town from hers. Then she realizes what Foreman meant: she’d been unconsciously staring at Chase when he wasn’t looking, daydreaming of a family with him, and she said the only thing she could say.

“It’s Tuesday, and I love you, too.”